Corporate lessons

Here is three corporate lessons to help you survive changes.

Corporate lesson 1

A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him "can I also sit like you doing nothing all day". The crow answered "sure, why not."
So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit.....And ate it.

Moral of the story is..........To be sitting and doing nothing you must be very, very high up.

Corporate Lesson 2

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy."
"Well why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull "they are packed with nutrients".
The turkey pecked at a lump of the dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating more of the dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who promptly shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story is.........Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

Corporate Lesson 3 (and my favourite)

A little bird was flying south for winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was laying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lie there in the pile of cow dung, it begun to realise how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out !. He lay there warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Moral of the story is ........1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy
2)Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3)And when your in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

A day out and a surprise

Just a quick post to update anyone who looks in. Yesterday had a day where I did absolutely nothing (well nothing means apart from washing, cooking and cleaning) I did not step foot outside the door.
Today though husband and I enjoy another day out in the countryside, this time going to a big old manor house just over the border in Cornwall. We ended up having a lovely lunch in a barn that had been converted to a restaurant. Then after lunch walked to quay on the river Tamar, and the old working water mill. It was quite a trek through the woods, but quite lovely with the river burbling away, and the bluebells in full bloom.
A nice surprise was waiting for us when we finally got home, my darling step-children bought us round a surprise. They have booked for both of us a three night break all inclusive at Littlecote House in Berks. They said this was our joint birthday present, and a thank you for being there all these long years for them.
blub blub blub, bless them, this fair touched my soul.
Tomorrow back to reality - work !!!

Busy Week

Woke up this morning feeling a little worse for wear. Been a long week at work this week again, maybe because every evening this week after I got home from work I have been stripping wallpaper. We have rising damp in our lounge and a week on Monday a firm are coming to start the work. This will involve knocking a metre high of plaster off the walls and injecting them with some sort of chemical. So I decided as there was going to be such a mess we would totally redecorate, hence the wallpaper stripping. Mr Shywoo does not like decorating so this falls firmly on my shoulders, at least it gets done then too !!.
Last night after work and wallpaper stripping I decided I deserved a beer or two. Well it turned into several, getting home at around 1.30pm (I think). Never again, well until tonight as I have a birthday party to attend. I might pop off for an afternoon nap, so I am revitalised and raring to go tonight (oh the thought is making me feel ill). It makes you wish you were young again.

What to do on a rainy day.

This morning the rain was falling looking like there would be no let up. I suggested to husband that as it was raining we could go to Cheddar Gorge caves. Its only an hour or so up the motorway.
What a fantastic place to go (for adults and children) the caves are absolutely magnificent with the stalactites and stalagmites in the caves being around a quarter of a million years old. You pay a price of £11.50 per adult you can get family tickets too, but this covers all the attractions, the car park is also then free and if like us you didn't get to do everything on the ticket, it is valid for TEN years for you to go back again.

We had a nice lunch in a riverside cafe, looked around the little shops, the highlight being the home made sweetie shop. Where there was a demonstration, they were making humbugs, yummy. Then we trundled home, and lo behold the sun has now broken through the cloud.

Come on ENGLAND !!!

I say COME ON ENGLAND you can do it. What am I talking about ? Only one of the best programs on television tonight, that is of course, THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST. (No I am not sad). This has been a tradition for me to watch this every year, and no, not for the songs or singers but for the fabulous Sir Terry Wogan's comments, that without would not be worth a second glance.

Every year I settle down with a bottle or two, popcorn, chocolate (goes without saying) and phone to hand. Why do I need to the phone no its not to vote but to ring my brother, and step daughter who also watch. We laugh and comment on the acts, singers and of course Sir Terry.
Do I think we have a chance, not a hope in hell, the voting is so political that it makes it even better, its the taking part that counts, but I do end up having a fabulous night watching the telly (husband usually disappears mumbling about dross).

Worlds Easiest Quiz

This week so far has progressed thus, work, home sleep, work, home, sleep. I have had deadlines to meet so had to work loads of overtime. The mood has brighten, there is sunshine on the horizon, ie I have had no time to think of anything. Anyway this quiz came my way please feel free to test yourselves (if anyone is reading this of course).

WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ (Passing requires 4 correct answers)

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What colour is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below.




ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what>animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What colour is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange[of course]




What do you mean, you failed? Me, too. (And if you try to tell me you passed,you lie!)
Pass this on to some brilliant friends, so they can feel useless too!!

Long lost love

Further to my previous post my mood unfortunately still has not improved. My mind started to wander and think about all old friends and boyfriends.
When I was in my late teens, early twenties I used to go to the pub a fair bit, and get very drunk a lot. I didn't really have any boyfriends at this time just a group I used to hang out with, but there was one, who invariably caught my eye, he was clever, funny and drunk just as much as me. He was also so sweet he would quite often walk with me part way home, and we would have a drunken snog or two. This went on for a while, until one day I realized I was in love with this guy. Oh deep shit.

I did not say anything to him or anyone else. I thought stupidly he felt the same, until one day I overheard him in the pub talking to his friend about another girl, meeting her and going out with her, my heart was broken, smashed. I realized he had never taken me seriously, I also realized he didn't love me, so I let him go, I moved on. My job was going nowhere, my parents had split up and moved so I packed up and moved out of town.

About twelve months or so later I went back for a visit and tried to find my friends, I met up with a few, who told me he was getting married. This cut even deeper, I felt cheap and used, I had not even been given a second thought. So I put him out of my mind and carried on with my life.

This is to say about five years ago I went back to this town and bumped into this guy, wow ! The fire, the passion, the spark was all still there and it seemed like yesterday I had seen him last. I got chatting and he gave me his email address and we began corresponding. Anyway it turns out he's not very happy with his lot. He also says he realizes now what he had. Too late I wanted to say, but no, I wanted to see how I felt I needed to know. My sister still lives in town so I used her as an excuse to visit and met him again.

What if.... What if...... Is all I keep coming back too. The passion, fire and alcohol were all still there, as was my husband. I am glad he was, I have never contemplated or even wanted to disregard my marriage vows, that is until now. Needless to say it didn't happen and I have said farewell.

Sad

I sit here alone trying to struggle to come to terms with losing an Angel. The funeral is next Thurs, how will we all cope, only time will tell. I think this family is cursed, we had six family members die last year and two so far this year, where will it end.
I would apologise for the doom and gloom of this blog, but no-one reads it anyway.
I think therefore this is purely to get my thoughts out. Has anyone looked at gravestones or memorial plaques and looked the year born and died. I have, has anyone ever thought about the dash in between, that represents someones whole life in a single dash, everything they thought, felt and loved is marked with a line.
The childhood dreams that as you grow up turn into adults regrets, things you wish you had said and done or never done. I fear i am rambling now, oh well never mind. You think you have done everything right in your life when something happens and questions everything you feel, all the decisions you took and you were sooo certain, what if ..... keeps going on in your head until it drives you crazy and you cant sleep.
Is this normal am i normal ahhhhh yep i am definitely losing the plot. Am off to bed now to try to sleep and dream nice thoughts, hey its another day tommorrow, what else can go wrong ?

Have they not heard of video conferencing

My working day started a 7.15am today with being picked up by a colleague. It had been arranged to go to a meeting in Stockport (Approx 250 miles ), it took 4.30 hours to get there the meeting was 2.30 hours and i arrived home at 7.30pm.
I suggested to my boss that perhaps a video conference call would of been easier. It looks like due to the amount of work load and the fact i missed a day out of the office i am now going to have to work the whole weekend. Deep Joy .....

Goodbye my Angel

Sadly the phone call came at around 10.00pm, she lasted until 8.30pm once the machines were switched off at around 6pm. So here is goodbye to a sweet angel. she was so brave in her illness and after seeing what she went through with the blood and platelets, she became my inspiration to give blood.
I will never forget you Angel, be at peace now...

Sad Day

Today has been a sad day. Firstly Mr Shywoo still unwell enough to go back to work and is off for another week with a lung infection, which is now in its second week, he is getting better, but slowly.
Secondly and even worse, my niece has been in hospital for nearly 4 weeks, she suffers from Aplastic anemia
a rare blood disorder. For the last 6 years she has been going to hospital twice/three times a week for blood and platelets (white blood cells). She was waiting for a bone marrow transplant but it was left so long that she will never have that now she is too ill. She has no immune system and caught pneumonia. Over the last 4 weeks since being in hospital (Addenbrookes) they have tried everything, today it was decided as she is heavly sedated, and the ventilators are doing more work than she is they are turning the machines off. I am just now waiting for the dreaded phone call.

I know though that after her struggling for 6 years it will be a relief, but having said that she was only 27yrs old, just passed her vetinary nursing exams before she started being ill. So very very sad..................sob sob...

Tytnesfield - National Trust

Today, Mr Shywoo and I went to a lovely 17th Century gothic manor house, that is Tytnesfield, a big house tucked away 7 miles south west of Bristol owned by the National Trust.
The house and contents were purchased by the National Trust in 2002 for 25.2 million pounds. A grant of 17.1 million, 3 million by public appeal donations, then 4 & 1 million by annoymous benefactors. A deal was agreed at the eleventh hour on the condition that 10 days after purchase it would be open to the public.
This house i have to say is unique owned by 5 generations of the Gibbs family. The Gibbs family did not chuck anything away and the house has most of its original furniture, sadly the upper floor is not yet ready to be viewed. The 47 bedrooms currently stores quite alot of furniture and possesions which need to catalogued before being made ready. The house was used in the war efforts of WW1 & WW2. It boasts its own chapel, which is magnificent and i was told was the largest private chapel in the country, but sadly it was never conscreated.
Being a member of the National Trust means that you can visit these types of properties all over England free of charge, well worth the £68.00 a year.

Off to watch Most haunted now and count how long it will be before Yvette starts crying.

Extremely long week

First week back to work and i need another holiday. Loads of grotty stuff kindly left for me to deal with upon my return which i finally completed. Along with the fact we have just changed to a new computer system (one which i have already used), so a million and one questions to answer.
It was only a 4 day week due to the bank holiday, but it felt longer. I now have to asked myself was it worth going on holiday or is it time to ask for a pay rise ?

Sausages

Bloke goes into a shop and asks for Irish Sausages.
The assistant looks at him and says, "Are you Irish?"
"If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I asked for Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Wouldya, eh? Wouldya?"
The assistant says, "Well, no".
"And if I asked you for some Bourbon, would you ask me if I was American? What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?"
"Well, no, I probably wouldn't,"
Indignantly the man says, "So why did you ask me if I'm Irish; just because I asked for Irish Sausages?"
The assistant replies, "Because this is Homebase."


Ps. I am sorry i just couldnt resist these !!.

Scientific Study

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy
study, discovered that people with very low intellect read blogs
with their hand on the mouse.



Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.